A acquaintance once told me, “When it rained heavily, I would prefer my motorcycle to stay overnight rather than my girlfriend.” Riders, or rather enthusiasts, have said crazier things. So, to hear that a man chose a ride with friends over his daughter's wedding...I hate to say it, but I'm not surprised. Understanding the circumstances of this decision - he lost $22.5k when she canceled her first destination wedding, but still went on the trip to take "revenge photos," part of me felt sympathetic.
But ultimately, life is about choices.
The father chose to raise a child who did not appreciate money, people, or a graceful exit. He could have also told his ungrateful daughter that "revenge photos" are for those who can afford their own vacations, in this case, to Puerto Rico. Instead of turning this into a teachable moment (for both of them) where they could bond over being annoying and possibly grow, he left for a motorcycle trip to Glacier National Park.
It's not like a trip to Nepal or Mongolia or the Arctic Circle. It was Wyoming. Like, woo.
But upbringing is the root cause. And if you look at it existentially, he's the problem. She's just the symptom. So, I ask again, was this dad right to skip his child's wedding for a motorcycle trip?
Yes, I understand that this question is subjective. Some people highly value family, marriage, and open bars. They are the ones who would probably never consider abandoning their loved ones in their time of need or celebration, no matter how unpleasant they might be. But those people probably didn't spend a significant amount of money on a party.
As someone who once selfishly canceled my own wedding to go on a free motorcycle tour to Thailand, I can understand the disappointment people feel, the investments they lose, and the resentment that lingers for years. But after many apologies, I chose to learn from the experience. I don't expect anyone to attend if I do end up getting married in the future. And I now know to put much more thought into that kind of commitment before involving my friends and family.
But we were also paying for the event ourselves. Apart from the endless apologies we offer to our loved ones, there wasn't someone stuck with our unpaid bill.
In the end, it seems like this man finally realized he raised a spoiled child who didn't appreciate the gifts she received, and he reacted. So, was skipping his daughter's special day the "wrong" move? Maybe yes and no. Yes, he was right in (finally) choosing to show her the value of finances, gratitude, and moving through life with grace, if not tact. Also, motorcycles are fun.
But his method of teaching was not very tasteful. Instead of addressing the problem he created, he left his child to her own devices. Although it was arguably more enjoyable and personally rewarding, yeah.
I'm still on the fence here. But I don't have kids. And I don't like c*nts. As a parent, don't you want to teach your children that they reap what they sow? Well, this was a moment of reaping, and alternatively, he ran (or rode) away...like a coward. She's no queen either, as evidenced by her "revenge photos" comment.
If life were fair, they would both learn a lesson. She would learn that when you're not humble, you stop receiving. And he would understand that your children reflect your input. Given that this dirty laundry was aired publicly on social media, it seems that at least the father is stuck in a cycle of poor choices. And again, life is about choices, right?
So, we ask again: Was this father right to take a motorcycle trip instead of attending his daughter's second wedding? The jury is still out. Was it tasteless for him to seek validation from the Reddit community instead of having a heart-to-heart with his own child (to repair the relationship instead of further damaging it and traumatizing his child)? Definitely yes.
In conclusion, if you are tired of your child's behavior and choose not to support their milestones, that's on you. But take responsibility. And don't expect sympathy from others when you are called out. Have some dignity.
Now you know my thoughts. What do you think?